Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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