arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
