Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
