Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
