I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
