already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
