Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
