Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
