He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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