i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.