That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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