So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
