i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize