Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
