Already got asked if we're dating
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.