He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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