I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
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I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
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I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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