U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
