you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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