just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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