I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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