I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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