winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
