Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Mom said you looked used
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
