remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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