I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
