actually, I'm a sock model
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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