singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
They have beer where we have blood.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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