I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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