I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize