If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Come on in and take your pants off
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