today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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