I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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