she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
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And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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