Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think my mom watched the whole time
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
