Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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