I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
