my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
