You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
