shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
