so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
