Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
