Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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