sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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