Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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