Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
