haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
