I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
