Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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