the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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