I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
