i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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