So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
