Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
