I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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