in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
