no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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