he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
FUCK WHALES
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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